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I am what some would call a dreamer. This in the simplest form means, I have great ideas and expectations of what/who I want to be.People often laugh or just stare in utter silence when I tell them my dreams. This just makes me want to succeed more to try harder, run faster, and fly higher.

However, my wants often collide with lack of motivation. This usually comes in the form of an epic battle of good versus evil. I have to be honest here; this lack of motivation prevails in many of these instances. The fact of the matter is it’s so easy to want to do extraordinary things but it is much more difficult to live it out. As many would put it “talk is cheep.”

I have been trying to constantly challenge myself to get over my lack of motivation, this evil inside that tells me that I can proceed to be apathetic. I have to remind myself of my goals my hopes and my dreams.

My man John Ruben summed my feelings up perfectly in the song “Do Not”
lack of understanding lack of communication
lack of a desire for expanding education
lack of inspiration lack of innovation
the fact you can’t respect another mans creation
lack of motivation lack of restoration
the fact we lack unity and enjoy separation
lack of destination because you know what I feel
I feel that humans lack the ability to be real

The problem is not that I don’t have the talents or skills needed just that I don’t have the motivation to carry out my dreams. I can see them shining through the haze.

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“You’ve been living life like it’s a sequel
And your already bored with the plot
As if the cast and the score
Are more money than before
But the script and the backdrop are stock” – Switchfoot ,C’mon C’mon [Lyrics]

If you are like me you often times will hear a song and fall in love with it. I find myself doing this a lot with songs by Switchfoot. The song C’mon C’mon is about how we need to stop talking about change and start changing. I am learning every day that I am having a passion for changing this world starting with changing myself. It’s interesting that when you ask someone what is wrong with this world they will say things like “lack of love”, “people hate to much”, “isolation”, and “selfishness.” Then you ask them the million dollar question, what are you doing about it. Often times this leads to silence, awkward silence.

“There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we’d all love one another.” -Frank Zappa

This is another one of my life mottos that I try to live by that we all need to love each other. Well by now I have realized (and I’m sure you have too) that I have no idea where I am going with this blog entry so I will close with this. Try each day to love each other whatever the cost.

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Well, I’m now officially an adult adult. I believe there are a few stages of adulthood there are the 18 year old “adults” who gain most of their freedoms’ but still have a lot of figuring out to do. Then you have your 21 year old “adults.” Where the government hopes you got all the “figuring out”, figured out between the ages of 18-21. Then there is, of course, the 25 year old “adults” by this time you have apparently become not only an expert drive but also an expert cheapskate at life and therefore you save money on car insurance.

I’ve learned a lot between the ages of 18-21. One of the things that I’ve been learning and thinking about a lot is the difference between what one could do and what one should do. As I get older and wiser(well older at least) I’m finding out that sometimes in life just because you can do something and maybe it’s not even something that is “wrong”, “bad”, or even “unintelligent” that doesn’t always mean you should do it. However, let’s not get caught up what we can and can’t do. Let’s stop focusing on what we could do and started focusing on what we should (or shouldn’t) do and make this world a better place.

P.S. Thanks for all the myspace/facebook birthday comments and wishes.

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As I was pondering on what I want to do with my life I got to thinking, there are two main groups that the working class can be categorized in: those who live to work  and those  work to live. I want to be the kind of person who accomplishes the former. The kind of person who is able to love what I do. I want to be the kind of person who when it is all said and done people won’t say I lived a normal life. I want them to say I did extraordinary things, that I helped people and that I was part of a bigger movement to change the world.

Art, Love, and Movement, these are just some of the ways I hope to accomplish this!

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For those of you who don’t know I take the bus pretty much everywhere I go. Meaning, I spend a lot of my time with sweaty, smelly, intoxicated, old, interesting and otherwise wired people, but I’m not going to talk about that. I am however going to talk about a certain incident on the bus ride to work today that really opened my eyes to the way I view the world and the kind of person I am.

If you have ever rode a King County Metro bus you know that the seats are slick, causing your body and your stuff to move around when the bus goes around sharp corners, or any corner for that matter. Today, I was sitting next to a elderly woman who had her bag on the seat next to her and was quite cough up in a conversation with a man, who appeared to be her husband, and two children, who appeared to be her grandchildren. We went around a fairly severe corner and her bag started to slide. Never to fear though, I was quick to act and used my foot to hold it in place until she was able to grab it and place it back on the seat. She seamed to not notice me and kept on having her conversation with the people she was with. This really pissed me off, I couldn’t help but think to myself “why didn’t she say thank you, see if I help her again.” I just kept on being bitter for the next couple of minutes until right before she got off she looked at me and smiled and said “thank you” as she pointed to her bag.

It’s funny in life how sometimes we do good for the reward and not for the better of humanity. How we like to be noticed, thanked and loved for our actions. On that same note, I personally find it quite annoying when I am thanked disingenuously for doing something where it would have been better to just keep your mouth shut than to thank me for something you aren’t actually thankful for.

Be real, be selfless.

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