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Recently after hanging out with a friend they turned to me and said “thanks for hanging out.” Which is a seemingly harmless statement, which, for some reason, provoked a firework display of thoughts in my brain. The main thing it reminded me of was of myself a year ago when I said that very same phrase to a friend. Their response was quite enlightening: “Brooke, you know you shouldn’t have to thank me each time we hang out, I hang out with you because I want to not because I have to.”

I could just over thinking this comment, but after this response I have stopped thanking people for hanging out. Yet, should we thank people for hanging out? They are taking their time, energy and often time resources to invest time in our lives. Is this “thank you” just an implied non-verbal thing that we never say but we should assume people are saying to us? Shouldn’t we show gratitude for the people we have in your lives?

I may just be bias as I think that we have become an over grateful society, apologizes and thanks run so rapid they seem to mean nothing. I am thankful for each and everyone of my friends if I say it or not. The key is finding the balance between fake and genuine .

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As some of you may know, I have made the decision to physically become a woman. Although I was born male I have always felt I was born in the wrong body. For the past year an a half I have been blogging and maintaining this site as Brandon Dukes at this point in my life I will no longer be going by that name. The name that I’ll be going by from this point forward is Brooke Dukes. Brooke is the same person as Brandon was just a different gender.

I would like to make it very clear that although I haven’t talked about my journey on this site that all the blog entries have been authentic and from my heart. I have recently created a site where I will be talking about my transition, BecomingBrooke.com. However, the format of BandonRandon.com will go much unchanged except for a few name and pronoun changes here and there.

Thank you very much for your continued love and support!

Brooke

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Apologize, but why?
I’m not wrong for thinking

Having an opinion doesn’t make me wrong
Differences are what make us

Saying sorry doesn’t make the pain go away
The hurt still remains the same

If time truly heals all wounds or just causes us to forget
It still won’t stop

So respect me and I’ll respect you
But don’t expect an apology out of me

About the poem: This poem is written to show my view on what apology often are. It’s not to say that I’m always right or that my opinion is the only one. It’s more of a poem to make you think.

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Shakespeare had it right when he said ” All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players… “  (Jaques, As You Like It Act 2, scene 7) We are all “characters” in this worlds play. The beauty of it is that we are the writers of our own parts. Each of us decides who we will be. Each with our own talents, whither that means screen, stage, or writing we all get to decide how much of us the world truly gets to know. Some of us have many different characters and get caught up in the drama of life. Others strive to be real as possible which comes with its own set of problems. Whatever your style is, don’t ever forget to be yourself.  Now sit back and enjoy the show.

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In honor of earth hour the lights went out at the Seattle Space Needle as well as many other businesses and buildings across Seattle.

Here are my before and after pictures of the Needle.

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